More often, when we think of focused people what comes to mind is that they are boring and do not have a life. We tend to think of them as overzealous and arrogant. However, that is not always the case. There is so much more value that comes with being focused and whatever the person does is driven by the need to make dreams a reality and fulfill a purpose. Of course, this is not apparent to those who are not equally as focused or, who have other means of reaching their goals that do not require them to focus much. Yes, such dreams exist since dreams have more to do with our personalities and purpose.
Being focused is not the same as being busy always. It means living an intentional life guided by a set of goals, principles, and objectives. Every move is directed at getting a task done in order to achieve a goal. Anything else is regarded as a time-waster. Focus is the key to forming meaningful relationships in your social spaces as well as the professional world.
Clear and meaningful relationships are the type of relationships that are formed for a particular reason after identifying your purpose and dreams and carefully considering the right type of people to accompany you throughout the journey. This does not mean that these relationships do not end. Rather, they save a particular purpose and the involved parties understand that at some point they might grow and need other relationships that will take them from that point to the next. In some cases these relationships do not end completely, but, they take a new form that is fitting to the situations of the involved parties.
As you work on creating clear and meaningful relationships, you need to be able to identify the qualities that make the person worth your time, energy, and attention. These include their interests, knowledge, patience, commitment et cetera. Thus, you should look for people who bring value to your life in many ways, people who know when it is time to play and time to work. Imagine your circles being made up only of people you party or go to movies with. It would be better if those people can also play other roles than just being fun buddies. Also, as you work on building such relationships, ensure that you can be a valuable person in their lives too, and ensure that the relationships are mutually beneficial.
The need to carefully consider the relationships that you form is driven by the following;
1. Relationships influence our lifestyle – the people you spend most of your time with have the power to influence your lifestyle. This necessitates staying close with people who have similar goals and values. Where the people in your circles have personalities that are different from yours, you are most likely to feel the pressure to find ways to fit in even if it means doing things that are out of character. You could find yourself doing or spending more than you can afford to in order to try and keep up with your peers. Therefore, you should form healthy relationships that will push you towards a sane life and help you be a better person. It is better to be seen as boring than to sacrifice your true nature for the sake of having people around you.
2. Having a support system – there comes a time in life when you feel discouraged or things do not seem to be working in your favor. You need people who will understand what you are going through and will be willing to help you find solutions. These should be people who are ready to tell you the truth, help you identify your weaknesses, and also help you solve them.
3. The need to be surrounded by people who understand you – no relationship can be as soothing as one where you are understood. Such are the most peaceful relationships and where conflicts arise, they are often easy to solve. When people understand you, it is easier for them to be open and also listen to you. There is honesty and you feel safe around them.
4. Motivation – being around the right people can be the best way to keep yourself motivated to stick to your goals and prioritize a better life for yourself and your loved ones. Form relationships with goal-driven people determined to succeed and can also play the role of accountability buddies.
5. Learning – having mentors is one way to learn more about and get guidance on the route you want to take.
How focus helps create meaningful relationships;
1. Controlling the environment – focused people know how to control the environment. They have work schedules and habits that control who gets their attention, how, and why. Therefore, forming relationships with such people is something that is intentional on their part. They do not want you there, instead, they need you to be there.
2. Not wasting time on things that are not aligned to their goals – this point is closely related to the previous one. Being focused requires you to avoid things that do not fit into the life you want as these are considered to be distractions. You learn to say no to things, habits, and people that may hinder progress.
3. Boundaries – focused people have limits and principles. These naturally repel those who do not subscribe to the boundaries and principles unless they are interested in following that part. When you are focused, you feel the need to protect your space.
4. Intentional living – intentional people have reasons for whatever action they take including the people they spend time with.
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